Blkirish’s Weblog

Truth and Love always win. – Mahatma Gandhi

I love this quote… If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.   ~Audre Lorde Multi-taksing Stats: Gosh, it’s been years since I’ve done this, but here goes…I posted this whilst grading, tweeting, lounging on the couch thinking about the red velvet waffles […]

Claude McKay wrote the following poem the year my grandmother was born.  It still rings true today. America Although she feeds me bread of bitterness, And sinks into my throat her tiger’s tooth, Stealing my breath of life, I will confess I love this cultured hell that tests my youth! Her vigor flows like tides [...]

Over at my second cyber-home, CoParenting101.org, we’ve just announce that we’re teaming up with The Ricki Lake Show.  Deets. (I’m sick. I have deadlines. Pardon the brevity.)

It’s a blessing and a curse that I’ve married a man who is a very good dancer. My bonus kids are good dancers too. This means that FedBooHusband and I have had some memorable nights on the dance floor in various cities.  He’s full of energy and makes me feel like I’m the only woman [...]

My heart was heavy this morning.  It was definitely shaping up to be a serenity prayer kind of day.  Sometimes, in this space, I’m limited as to what I can share because while my stories are mine to tell, I tread lightly on telling other people’s stories.  I have written (elsewhere) about my bonus children, [...]

As usual, time with FedBooHusband leaves me feeling some kind of way. Several kinds of ways actually. Wistful, always wishing we had more time. But then resolute that things are they way they have to be because of the commitment we both happily make as parents.  And then wistful again because our time together is [...]

Our whole family vacation at Cedar Point, 2010 When our oldest daughter Taylor approached El Ex and me with the idea for an all-kids episode of “Co-Parenting Matters”, we thought it was a genius idea (not that we’re biased on anything). She said, “Co-parenting is for the kids, so kids should talk about it, right?” [...]

Last night, after a Thanksgiving brunch that left FedBooHusband and me feeling like we could never eat again, we got a call from some friends, a couple FBH has known for years.  They invited us to come over and “Come hungry!”  The idea of any more food made us weak, but we enjoy hanging out [...]

Truth and Love always win. – Mahatma Gandhi Gandhi probably wasn’t talking about co-parenting when he said/wrote this.  But we think a man whose name is synonymous with peace probably has some wisdom for those of us who are parenting across two households after a break-up. Honesty is important to the success of co-parenting.  Honest [...]

The latest in our guest-post series on co-parents and dating at Two Happy Homes: “Why does my boyfriend put his child before me?”

In our ongoing dialogue as co-parenting partners, periodically the issue of screen-time comes up–how much time our girls are spending watching TV, using their iPods and iPads, and sitting in front of a desktop computer or their laptops. While  the girls do not spend the exact same amount of screen-time at both houses, we are [...]

We’re hard at work on our co-parenting book (due out Spring 2013), so posting here is light. But please do check out our guest posts on dating and co-parenting at Two Happy Homes, a great new community for co-parents!

“The most dangerous things to children are the unlived lives of their parents.”–Carl Jung We think this was Jung’s way of telling co-parents to Move On. Embrace the next chapters of your life, be in control instead of being controlled by the past or by someone else, pursue your dreams, pursue your interests.  And the [...]

Are you worried about your children and how they will adjust to the divorce? Are you dealing with a difficult ex? No money in your budget to attend expensive therapy or seminars? And never mind researching all the divorce experts out there to figure out where to put your precious time and money?! If that’s [...]

Recently, we heard from D,  a co-parenting mom,  who shared with us the pain and difficulty of co-parenting in the wake of her ex’s infidelity.  We offer the story below from another co-parenting mom to D and other parents who are struggling to find a glimpse of hope.  Even if your circumstances aren’t identical, we [...]

Are you wondering if bird’s nest co-parenting could work for your family?  Or are you wondering, “What’s bird’s nest co-parenting?”  A co-parenting mom of three breaks it down for us in this guest post.  My ex-husband and I are attempting Bird’s Nest Custody.  I say attempting because it is an up and down process but [...]

I had the best time snuggling with my boys this morning. I was telling “M” how lucky I was to have such wonderful boys, and he said “That’s right! Me, and “H,” and Daddy!” And I told him, “You’re right! I AM lucky to have such wonderful boys in my life, including the one who [...]

When co-parents are civil and cooperative with one another, they and their kids can thrive.  However, when co-parents stay mired in high-conflict situations, we encourage them to disengage from battling with the other parent, and to find resources, such as counseling, to help themselves and their children process the break-up and the fallout.  Unfortunately, […]